For the first 5 years of parenting, I was a single mother and of course, single parents often have specific needs, enquiries and experiences that two parents don't face. For this reason, I wanted to create a guide for single parents living in Berlin, whether you are expecting your baby, are already a single parent or are currently in the process of splitting from your partner to become one. The guide is split in to different categories, so search down to find which one best suits your personal situation.
This post covers:
This post covers:
- Paternity
- Legal Child Custody in Germany
- Financial support in Berlin for single parents
- Pregnancy as a single parent
- Organisations and professionals that support single parents in Berlin
- Child support in Berlin
Official acknowledgement of paternity (Vaterschaftsanerkennung)
If you are expecting a baby and are separated from the father, the father can sign official acknowledgement that he's the father by signing a Vaterschaftsanerkennung. There are three ways you can do this, either via the Jugendamt (free), Amtsgericht (with charges) or through a notary (with charges). This can be organised and signed during the pregnancy (and is often easier that way) or after birth.
Should the father not wish to be acknowledged, it is possible to apply to the courts to enforce that the father take a paternity test through a "Gerichtliche
Vaterschaftsfeststellung".
Signing the Vaterschaftsanerkennung through the Jugendamt
When signing the Vaterschaftsanerkennung through the Jugendamt, you will need to make two appointments. The first is to hand in all documents, the second will be to go through and sign the paperwork. If you can't speak German, you will need a translator who not only has a thorough understanding of German, but also of the German system involving paternity & custody - it's complicated). Even if you speak conversational German, please note that the type of German used in this discussion may well include vocabulary you are not familiar with. All those involved (parents & translator, if one is being used) are expected to go to both appointments. If this isn't possible for any reason, it is highly important to let the Jugendamt know. The second appointment can last between 1-2 hours so it is highly recommended to do this before the birth. It can also take a while to get your appointments.
Documents you will need to take with you:
Legal Custody Declaration (Sorgerecht)
When a baby is born in Germany to unmarried parents (be them together or separated), the mother of the child automatically receives full legal custody of the child. This doesn't mean that the father doesn't have a right to spend time with his child, rather, legal custody or Sorgerecht as it is known in Germany. Legal custody of the child means having the right to make important decisions regarding the child in matter such as choice of childcare, schooling, operations etc. The mother automatically receives full legal custody (Vollsorgerecht) unless she chooses to sign a document, along with the father, that shares this legal custody (geteiltes Sorgerecht). This can be completed during the pregnancy or post-birth at any point in the child's life through your local Jugendamt. The Joint Legal Custody Declaration can be done as part of the Vaterschaftsanerkennung (details above) or separately at a later date. If you can't speak German, you will need a translator who not only has a thorough understanding of German, but also of the German system involving paternity & custody - it's complicated. Even if you speak conversational German, please note that the type of German used in this discussion may well include vocabulary you are not familiar with.
What you will need to take with you
Extra financial support for expectant single parents in Berlin
There is a foundation called 'Stiftung des Landes Berlin' that offer some expectant parents on low income or who receive ALG II / Hartz IV possible extra financial support to prepare for their baby (Baby-Erstausstatung). You can make an appointment at your local Gesundheitsamt for help in applying for their 'Stiftung Hilfe für Familien'. It is recommended to apply roughly 3 months before your due date. Not all people will qualify and the amount you receive varies but it can be a useful extra support for purchasing items such as a cot/crib, changing table etc.
If you are expecting a baby and are separated from the father, the father can sign official acknowledgement that he's the father by signing a Vaterschaftsanerkennung. There are three ways you can do this, either via the Jugendamt (free), Amtsgericht (with charges) or through a notary (with charges). This can be organised and signed during the pregnancy (and is often easier that way) or after birth.
Should the father not wish to be acknowledged, it is possible to apply to the courts to enforce that the father take a paternity test through a "Gerichtliche
Vaterschaftsfeststellung".
Signing the Vaterschaftsanerkennung through the Jugendamt
When signing the Vaterschaftsanerkennung through the Jugendamt, you will need to make two appointments. The first is to hand in all documents, the second will be to go through and sign the paperwork. If you can't speak German, you will need a translator who not only has a thorough understanding of German, but also of the German system involving paternity & custody - it's complicated). Even if you speak conversational German, please note that the type of German used in this discussion may well include vocabulary you are not familiar with. All those involved (parents & translator, if one is being used) are expected to go to both appointments. If this isn't possible for any reason, it is highly important to let the Jugendamt know. The second appointment can last between 1-2 hours so it is highly recommended to do this before the birth. It can also take a while to get your appointments.
Documents you will need to take with you:
- Birth certificates of both parents (officially translated if not in German or English)
- Passport or Personalausweis of both parents (& translator if you are using one)
- Registration document (Meldebescheinigung)
- Mutterpass if before the birth; child’s birth certificate (Geburtsurkunde) if after the birth
- Permission of the mother (with copies of her identification) if she is for any reason not present
Legal Custody Declaration (Sorgerecht)
When a baby is born in Germany to unmarried parents (be them together or separated), the mother of the child automatically receives full legal custody of the child. This doesn't mean that the father doesn't have a right to spend time with his child, rather, legal custody or Sorgerecht as it is known in Germany. Legal custody of the child means having the right to make important decisions regarding the child in matter such as choice of childcare, schooling, operations etc. The mother automatically receives full legal custody (Vollsorgerecht) unless she chooses to sign a document, along with the father, that shares this legal custody (geteiltes Sorgerecht). This can be completed during the pregnancy or post-birth at any point in the child's life through your local Jugendamt. The Joint Legal Custody Declaration can be done as part of the Vaterschaftsanerkennung (details above) or separately at a later date. If you can't speak German, you will need a translator who not only has a thorough understanding of German, but also of the German system involving paternity & custody - it's complicated. Even if you speak conversational German, please note that the type of German used in this discussion may well include vocabulary you are not familiar with.
What you will need to take with you
- Birth certificates of both parents (officially translated if not in German),
- Passport or Personalausweis of both parents (& translator if being used),
- Registration document (Meldebescheinigung)
- Mutterpass if before the birth, child’s birth certificate (Geburtsurkunde) if after the birth
Extra financial support for expectant single parents in Berlin
There is a foundation called 'Stiftung des Landes Berlin' that offer some expectant parents on low income or who receive ALG II / Hartz IV possible extra financial support to prepare for their baby (Baby-Erstausstatung). You can make an appointment at your local Gesundheitsamt for help in applying for their 'Stiftung Hilfe für Familien'. It is recommended to apply roughly 3 months before your due date. Not all people will qualify and the amount you receive varies but it can be a useful extra support for purchasing items such as a cot/crib, changing table etc.
Pregnant (to be) Single Parent in Berlin
Expectant Single Parents on ALG II / Hartz IV
If you are receiving benefits / ALG II and are pregnant, from the 13th week of pregnancy, you are entitled to apply for an additional demand (Mehrbedarf). You will need to either go to your branch of the Jobcenter with your usual documents needed (Anmeldebescheinigung, Passport) and Mutterpass or send a letter in German explaining you are pregnant and requesting the ''Mehrbedarf für werdende Mutter'', along with a photocopy of your Mutterpass that clearly shows your due date (thusly proving you are past the 12th week of pregnancy).
It is also possible to apply for financial support for purchasing items in preparation for the baby's arrival. This is called ''Erstausstattung für Bekleidung einschließlich bei Schwangerschaft und Geburt''. You can apply for this 2-3 months before your due date either in person or via letter (please read the above paragraph about which paperwork you will need to send/bring when applying).
You can find this information (in German) on what support you can receive as a pregnant single person in Berlin on ALG II / Hartz IV here.
It is also possible to apply for financial support for purchasing items in preparation for the baby's arrival. This is called ''Erstausstattung für Bekleidung einschließlich bei Schwangerschaft und Geburt''. You can apply for this 2-3 months before your due date either in person or via letter (please read the above paragraph about which paperwork you will need to send/bring when applying).
You can find this information (in German) on what support you can receive as a pregnant single person in Berlin on ALG II / Hartz IV here.
Single Parents in Berlin
Child support payments (Unterhalt or Kindesunterhalt)
Single parents who are the primary carer for their child(ren) have a right to receive child support. Child support can either be agreed between the parents privately or, if you cannot come to an agreement together, or if the parent who is accountable for paying child support is refusing to discuss payment, you can refer to something call the Düsseldorf Table (Düsseldorfer Tabelle - the link goes through to the 2015 version). The Düsseldorfer Tabelle gives a guide to calculations for child support based on income. If the parent who is accountable to pay child support isn't doing so, you need to go to the
Unterhaltsvorschussstelle at your local branch of the Jugendamt and apply. The forms needed to apply can be found either here online or picked up at your local Jugendamt from the Unterhaltsvorschusstelle.
What if the other parent can't pay?
If there isn't an ex partner to pay child support payments or they are unemployed and therefore can't afford to make the payments, then the parent who is the primary carer for their child(ren) can apply for Unterhaltsvorschuss. The amount you would receive (at time of writing this post) is €133 per child under 6 years of age and €180 per child between 6 - 12 years of age. Children of non-German parents are also entitled to this support as long as theparent holds a 'Niederlassungserlaubnis' or
'Aufenthaltserlaubnis'. There is however a limit on how long you can receive this payment from the Jugendamt for your child. You can receive Unterhaltsvorschuss for a minimum of 6 years or up until your child reaches 12 years of age (as long as the period is for 6 years or less.)
How to apply for Unterhaltsvorschuss
To apply for Unterhaltvorschuss, you will need to bring the following paperwork along with your application:
Who can help?
There is a special organisation that helps parents of non-German children to apply for and secure child support either from the other parent or alternatively, Unterhaltsvorschuss. Here are their details:
Arbeiterwohlfahrt, Landesverband Berlin e. V.
Kärntener Straße 23
10827 Berlin
Phone 030 7879020
Legal Custody Declaration (Sorgerecht)
When a baby is born in Germany to unmarried parents (be them together or separated), the mother of the child automatically receives full legal custody of the child. This doesn't mean that the father doesn't have a right to spend time with his child, rather, legal custody or Sorgerecht as it is known in Germany.
Legal custody of the child means having the right to make important decisions regarding the child in matter such as choice of childcare, schooling, operations etc. The mother automatically receives full legal custody (Vollsorgerecht) unless she chooses to sign a document, along with the father, that shares this legal custody (geteiltes Sorgerecht). This can be completed during the pregnancy or post-birth at any point in the child's life through your local Jugendamt.
The Joint Legal Custody Declaration can be done as part of the Vaterschaftsanerkennung (details above) or separately at a later date. If you can't speak German, you will need a translator who not only has a thorough understanding of German, but also of the German system involving paternity & custody - it's complicated. Even if you speak conversational German, please note that the type of German used in this discussion may well include vocabulary you are not familiar with.
What you will need to take with you
Single father's who haven't been given Joint Legal Custody by the mother of their child can now (as of January 2013) apply to the courts for this. You will need to speak to a lawyer or support organisation for further information on this process (support organisations listed at the bottom of this post.)
If your child was born in another country outside of Germany and you have moved to Berlin as a single parent, you will have to consult a legal professional or advising body concerning which custody laws you must abide by as a single parent whilst in Germany.
Single parents who are the primary carer for their child(ren) have a right to receive child support. Child support can either be agreed between the parents privately or, if you cannot come to an agreement together, or if the parent who is accountable for paying child support is refusing to discuss payment, you can refer to something call the Düsseldorf Table (Düsseldorfer Tabelle - the link goes through to the 2015 version). The Düsseldorfer Tabelle gives a guide to calculations for child support based on income. If the parent who is accountable to pay child support isn't doing so, you need to go to the
Unterhaltsvorschussstelle at your local branch of the Jugendamt and apply. The forms needed to apply can be found either here online or picked up at your local Jugendamt from the Unterhaltsvorschusstelle.
What if the other parent can't pay?
If there isn't an ex partner to pay child support payments or they are unemployed and therefore can't afford to make the payments, then the parent who is the primary carer for their child(ren) can apply for Unterhaltsvorschuss. The amount you would receive (at time of writing this post) is €133 per child under 6 years of age and €180 per child between 6 - 12 years of age. Children of non-German parents are also entitled to this support as long as theparent holds a 'Niederlassungserlaubnis' or
'Aufenthaltserlaubnis'. There is however a limit on how long you can receive this payment from the Jugendamt for your child. You can receive Unterhaltsvorschuss for a minimum of 6 years or up until your child reaches 12 years of age (as long as the period is for 6 years or less.)
How to apply for Unterhaltsvorschuss
To apply for Unterhaltvorschuss, you will need to bring the following paperwork along with your application:
- Copy of your passport
- Copy of your child(ren)'s birth certificate
- (for Non-EU citizens), your Niederlassungserlaubnis or Aufenthalltserlaubnis.
- (when applicable) the Vaterschaftsanerkennung (see explanation above)
- (when applicable) proof of any child support payments you have received previously.
- (when applicable) a Scheidungsurteil (a piece of paper that confirms your separation from your partner from a lawyer or court)
- Proof of income from the last 12 months.
Who can help?
There is a special organisation that helps parents of non-German children to apply for and secure child support either from the other parent or alternatively, Unterhaltsvorschuss. Here are their details:
Arbeiterwohlfahrt, Landesverband Berlin e. V.
Kärntener Straße 23
10827 Berlin
Phone 030 7879020
Legal Custody Declaration (Sorgerecht)
When a baby is born in Germany to unmarried parents (be them together or separated), the mother of the child automatically receives full legal custody of the child. This doesn't mean that the father doesn't have a right to spend time with his child, rather, legal custody or Sorgerecht as it is known in Germany.
Legal custody of the child means having the right to make important decisions regarding the child in matter such as choice of childcare, schooling, operations etc. The mother automatically receives full legal custody (Vollsorgerecht) unless she chooses to sign a document, along with the father, that shares this legal custody (geteiltes Sorgerecht). This can be completed during the pregnancy or post-birth at any point in the child's life through your local Jugendamt.
The Joint Legal Custody Declaration can be done as part of the Vaterschaftsanerkennung (details above) or separately at a later date. If you can't speak German, you will need a translator who not only has a thorough understanding of German, but also of the German system involving paternity & custody - it's complicated. Even if you speak conversational German, please note that the type of German used in this discussion may well include vocabulary you are not familiar with.
What you will need to take with you
- Birth certificates of both parents (officially translated if not in German),
- Passport or Personalausweis of both parents (& translator if being used),
- Registration document (Meldebescheinigung)
- Mutterpass if before the birth, child’s birth certificate (Geburtsurkunde) if after the birth
Single father's who haven't been given Joint Legal Custody by the mother of their child can now (as of January 2013) apply to the courts for this. You will need to speak to a lawyer or support organisation for further information on this process (support organisations listed at the bottom of this post.)
If your child was born in another country outside of Germany and you have moved to Berlin as a single parent, you will have to consult a legal professional or advising body concerning which custody laws you must abide by as a single parent whilst in Germany.
Single Parent in Berlin on ALG II / Hartz IV
New parent on ALG II / Hartz IV
Parent's on ALG II / Hartz IV who qualify for Kindergeld and Elterngeld can still receive these monies but they will be considered income and therefore will be subtracted from your monthly income from the Jobcenter as long as you are receiving ALG II / Hartz IV. If you weren't working in the year before you apply for Elterngeld, then you will receive the minimum €300 per month for the period Elterngeld is paid (click on the links for more information about Kindergeld and Elterngeld.)
Parents on ALG II / Hartz IV
Whether you are a new parent or you already have your child and are a single parent on ALG II / Hartz IV, as long as you are the parent with which the child primarily lives, you have a right to extra financial support as a single parent known as "Mehrbedarf für Alleinerziehende". The amount you receive is dependent on the amount of children you have and how old they are. If you have split from your husband or wife and receive ALG II / Hartz IV there can be slightly different rules. If you look after the child without another parent's involvement then you would likely receive the full extra support, if the child lives half of the time with you and half of the time with the other parent, then you would receive half of the extra support payment. If your situation is different to this, you would need to ask at the Jobcenter how it would work in your particular case.
You can find the details on being a single parent on ALG II / Hartz IV in German here.
Child support payments (Unterhalt or Kindesunterhalt)
The child support system for single parents on ALG II / Hartz IV works the same as detailed in the section earlier in this post, the only difference is that this amount will be counted as income and therefore subtracted from the income you will receive from the Jobcenter.
Parent's on ALG II / Hartz IV who qualify for Kindergeld and Elterngeld can still receive these monies but they will be considered income and therefore will be subtracted from your monthly income from the Jobcenter as long as you are receiving ALG II / Hartz IV. If you weren't working in the year before you apply for Elterngeld, then you will receive the minimum €300 per month for the period Elterngeld is paid (click on the links for more information about Kindergeld and Elterngeld.)
Parents on ALG II / Hartz IV
Whether you are a new parent or you already have your child and are a single parent on ALG II / Hartz IV, as long as you are the parent with which the child primarily lives, you have a right to extra financial support as a single parent known as "Mehrbedarf für Alleinerziehende". The amount you receive is dependent on the amount of children you have and how old they are. If you have split from your husband or wife and receive ALG II / Hartz IV there can be slightly different rules. If you look after the child without another parent's involvement then you would likely receive the full extra support, if the child lives half of the time with you and half of the time with the other parent, then you would receive half of the extra support payment. If your situation is different to this, you would need to ask at the Jobcenter how it would work in your particular case.
You can find the details on being a single parent on ALG II / Hartz IV in German here.
Child support payments (Unterhalt or Kindesunterhalt)
The child support system for single parents on ALG II / Hartz IV works the same as detailed in the section earlier in this post, the only difference is that this amount will be counted as income and therefore subtracted from the income you will receive from the Jobcenter.
Organisations & Support in Berlin for Single Parents
Here is a list of organisations and professionals that support single parents in Berlin
VAMV - an organisation that gives free support and advice to expectant and current-single parents including courses, meetups, childcare etc.
Verband alleinerziehender Mütter und Väter e. V. (VAMV)
Landesverband Berlin
Seelingstraße 13
14059 Berlin
Phone: 030 851 5120
Website
SHIA - a self-help group created by single parents to support fellow single parents living in Berlin.
SelbstHilfeInitiativen Alleinerziehender e. V. (SHIA)
Rudolf-Schwarz-Straße 29/31
10407 Berlin
Phone: 030 425 1186
Website
VHTS - an organisation supporting parents following a separation offering events and counselling services
Verein Humane Trennung und Scheidung e. V. (VHTS)
Landesvereinigung Berlin/Brandenburg
Schneppenhorstweg 5
13627 Berlin
Phone: 030 3827052
ZIF - an organisation supporting separating and separated parents and their children.
Zusammenwirken im Familienkonflikt e. V. (ZIF)
Mehringdamm 50
10961 Berlin
Phone: 030 8610195
VAMV - an organisation that gives free support and advice to expectant and current-single parents including courses, meetups, childcare etc.
Verband alleinerziehender Mütter und Väter e. V. (VAMV)
Landesverband Berlin
Seelingstraße 13
14059 Berlin
Phone: 030 851 5120
Website
SHIA - a self-help group created by single parents to support fellow single parents living in Berlin.
SelbstHilfeInitiativen Alleinerziehender e. V. (SHIA)
Rudolf-Schwarz-Straße 29/31
10407 Berlin
Phone: 030 425 1186
Website
VHTS - an organisation supporting parents following a separation offering events and counselling services
Verein Humane Trennung und Scheidung e. V. (VHTS)
Landesvereinigung Berlin/Brandenburg
Schneppenhorstweg 5
13627 Berlin
Phone: 030 3827052
ZIF - an organisation supporting separating and separated parents and their children.
Zusammenwirken im Familienkonflikt e. V. (ZIF)
Mehringdamm 50
10961 Berlin
Phone: 030 8610195
